Like Life Itself
by alphayamergo
Summary: They hadn't meant to get in this deep. The game had been just a game, but now it seemed like they needed it - and each other - like they needed to breathe. HawkxLeaf


**Disclaimer: I don't own Warriors.**

**A/n: I wrote this piece ages ago, and posted it on the Warriors Wish forum (didn't steal it, I promise!). I decided to post in on here, with some minor editing to a part that sounded really clunky and awkward and altogether yuck.**

_We never meant to do this, you and I. We never meant to get in this deep._

_This was all a game, as much to me as it was to you. We were teasing each other, taunting each other with flicks of the tail that nobody else would have noticed, but intoxicated us. We were playing each other, testing to see who would crack first._

_Now it seems that both of us need this little game as much as we need to breathe._

oOo

Leafpool had always hated destiny. Some unconscious part of her mind had always hated it, ever since that day she realized she was destined to be a medicine cat. But it was just her subconscious, the part that whispered in her ear but never really got a say. Maybe that was where this game had originated from.

She pushed her way out of camp, planning to gather some herbs, maybe meet with Crowfeather if she spotted him. Leafpool most certainly didn't want anything out of the ordinary to happen. She had no patience today for such things.

She still hated destiny, and her conscious mind was, for once, agreeing about ignoring such a thing. She didn't think that she was sealing her destiny by what she was doing. She paused outside the thorn tunnel, recalling for a moment – just a moment – how she had tempted Hawkfrost. She remembered seeing a clear longing in his eyes when she teased him, taunted him. _Does Crowfeather feel that?_ she wondered. She pushed the doubt away. _Of course he does. He probably feels it more, in fact._

She nodded, satisfied. _What herbs did Cinderpelt want me to get? _she thought suddenly. _Oh, foxdung. There was catmint… and juniper... poppy seeds… and horsetail. Yes, that's all! Okay, so horsetail first… that's down by the lake._

Clouds littered the sky, signaling the coming rain. The lake was full, lapping lazily at the banks that edged it. Leafpool loved the lake. It had shown her that her ancestors had followed them to the lake, and put a distance between ThunderClan and RiverClan – or her and _Hawkfrost_, more specifically. She turned from the great expanse of water, making her way back into the forest and to where the horsetail grew. She gathered up a large clump, letting the bitter taste seeps into her mouth. She started to turn, but jumped and spat out the herbs as she heard a voice behind her.

"Hello, Leafpool." It was Hawkfrost's voice. How had he snuck up on her? She hadn't scent him, or heard him… but of course she hadn't heard him. Her scent glands had been full of horsetail. Even now, they were still partly blocked by them.

"Don't do that!" she snapped. For some irrational reason, she had to tell him that, not challenge him. It wasn't that she wanted to stay on their territory… Of course it wasn't. She hated him being here. She wanted him _gone._

"Do what?" he asked, whiskers twitching in amusement.

"Sneak up on me!" she hissed. She paused. She had to challenge him. "Why are you even _here_?" she demanded.

"I'm here on business," he replied, much to her chagrin. She hissed at him, but Hawkfrost just gave a smirk, much to her outrage. He padded forward, and she pushed forward to meet him half way. They stood nose to nose, him perfectly calm, her tail lashing. "I have to say, I expected more of a welcome."

"You were never going to get one! Even _Brambleclaw_ isn't fool enough to welcome you when you _invade our territory_."

A few raindrops fell around them, becoming gradually heavier as they spoke. "I'm not invading," Hawkfrost meowed. "I'm here on business, as I told you."

He began to push past her, his pelt brushing hers, and she knew that he was taunting her – that he remembered the game, despite the many moons that had passed since they had last taunted each other. She whipped around and raced past him, swinging around to block his path.

"You don't get it, do you?" she exploded. "_I hate you. _I'm not playing that stupid game anymore!"

"You are," Hawkfrost hissed in return. "You've been playing it ever since you saw me. You still want me."

"No I don't!" she snarled. "I _love_ Crowfeather. It's more than stupid lust this time!" But even as she spoke, his scent wound around her, making her tense and so much more _alive_ than Crowfeather ever had. And here she was, stepping forward push herself to him, and to feel their pelts brush together and to smell their scents mingle…

"You can't resist." There was no question in Hawkfrost's tone, and he was stepping forward, too, and now they're pelts brushed and Leafpool felt like she was in StarClan…

_StarClan! _she thought suddenly. _How can I betray them like this?_ Abruptly she realized something - she and Crowfeather together had sealed her fate and StarClan had meant them for them to be together.

"No," she hissed aloud, surprising Hawkfrost. "I will _not_ be their puppet." Leafpool pressed herself against Hawkfrost again, lifting her tail and winding around him. She felt oh so _good_ for once, doing what she wanted to do and not what StarClan wanted for once, breaking free of the destiny that had been set for her.

"I'm still an apprentice, you know," she meowed. "I'm allowed to make mistakes." She couldn't _last_ it any longer – she needed Hawkfrost to be _hers_, and only hers. She needed him; she needed to be able to taunt him, like it was life itself.

Hawkfrost couldn't be happier to comply with her wishes.

oOo

_StarClan can't control me anymore. They can only watch in agony as I destroy my future and the futures of so many others, as I destroy the Warrior Code and the fate of the Clans themselves. For now, I am no longer aligned with StarClan, but the Dark Forest. I have broken free of my fate, the fate that would have helped to save the Clans, and have created my own: a much darker, much more violent destiny that would some day destroy the Clans._

_I cannot wait to fulfill it._


End file.
